i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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