Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
