Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
