Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
