Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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