things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
