She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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