I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
