I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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