If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
