Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
