god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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