he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He? As in you personified your dick?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
