Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
