That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
