there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
