my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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