what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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