obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
