I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
