Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
