at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He told me they were just razor bumps!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
