No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
