first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
