I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
