Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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