OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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