hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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