If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
