Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
