Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Rumble strips road head = magical
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
