We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
