I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
