On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
