why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
