So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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