Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
