Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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