you're like a bully in the Christmas story
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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