I must be too annoying 4 u.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
