Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
