You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
