He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
