nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
