remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
