Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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