we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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