Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
