pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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