captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she told me i tasted like america
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
