:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
